April 22, 2016 My Life As A Middle School Zombie! What’s up! My name is Max Crumbly and this is my new blog. I’m going to be posting stuff here about my pathetic life, so remember to check back for updates. Right now, I’m STILL trying to adjust to being the new kid at my middle school. And, some days, I feel like I just wander around that place like a ZOMBIE. That’s when I started thinking about what life would be like for me as a middle school zombie. Would I have to get my homework done on time? Probably NOT. Would I enjoy running the mile in my PE class? Probably NOT. Would I like the food served in our school cafeteria? Probably NOT. Would I have a lot of friends and get invited to parties? Probably NOT. Would my older, psycho sister, Megan, stop treating me like a big pile of dog poop that she accidentally stepped in on her way to the bus stop? Probably NOT. Hmm…? It sounds to me like my life as a middle school zombie wouldn’t be all that much different from the cesspool that it already is. Anyway, since I was bored out of my skull and just sitting around doing nothing I decided to write a rap about it: MESSAGE FROM A MIDDLE SCHOOL ZOMBIE I’m a zombie rapper, as you can see Cursed to rock the mic for all eternity. Although I’m undead, my rhymes are hot Because unlike my corpse, my skills don’t rot. So, don’t be skurd. Don’t tremble and shake. Yes, I eat human flesh like its birthday cake. My eyes are sunken. My heart is like stone. But, I ONLY commit MURDER on the microphone! My swagger is huge! My ego is chunky! And, my rotting smell? No joke, it’s funky! But, the girls still love me! They scream and cry, “OMG! It’s a zombie! I’m too CUTE to DIE!” Flies buzz all around me and I’m dribbling drool. But, believing in myself is what makes ME cool! Fitting in with the crowd was my only crave In the life that I had before my cold, dark grave. Listen up! If you seek, then you will find YOU possess power that’ll BLOW your mind! Be true to YOURSELF when life gets INSANE! I didn’t get this smart from just eating brains! I’m Zombie Max! My words cut like a knife. I’ll SLAY you first! Then, I’ll give you LIFE! Well, that’s my rap. So, do you think I got SKILLZ?! Yes or No. Post your comments below. And, feel free to drop a few lyrical lines (also known as rhymes) about what YOUR life would be like as a zombie.